You may feel that your teen is constantly upset all the time about one thing or another and that he is angry with you, his parent. This feeling can be quite overwhelming, because you have worked so hard to raise your teenager the best you could, and were not expecting this type of reaction from him. The secret here is to understand that you do not have anything to do with his anger, because teens deal with numerous changes and they just take it out on you. You are the most available person to release their tension to, normally. Try not to take their blowups personally. This way, you can help your child better to resolve the situation that is actually causing him to be upset.
Anger is an emotion that can be brought out by many different things. This anger is also shown through a behavior, such as yelling or storming out of a room. It is important to remember that this anger is usually brought on by something within the teenager, rather than something that you have done. If a teenager has a difficult day at school and keeps these emotions bottled up until he or she returns home, it makes sense that he or she would have an outburst while you are present. Your ability to look past this anger and realize that it goes beyond you is very important, as getting mad will not solve anything.
A mistake that many parents make in this situation is that they punish their teens for these outbursts. This can make the situation worse, as the teen starts viewing you as an enemy. If you have a bad day at work, the last thing you want to deal with is someone nagging you at home. Your teen probably feels the same way, so you should focus on how your teen is feeling. Once you have an understanding of what he or she is going through, you can come up with ways to diffuse the anger.
Rather than nagging your teen about his or her behavior, it is important that you acknowledge that there is probably a reason for your teen’s anger and, therefore, his or her behavior. By focusing on your teen’s emotions, rather than your teen’s behavior, you can find the underlying cause of these outbursts and prevent them.
After you understand how your teenager feels, you need to let him calm down quite a bit before talking to him about the issue. When he is calm, ask him if he have any warning signs before the blowup. If he did such as clenching his fists or sweating profusely, you can then use these for your talk. Encourage him to go jogging or walking when he gets these warning signs, because these activities could keep the explosive behavior from happening, and prevent your teenager from having serious issues down the road.
Most of all, remember that you must act as an adult with this situation to be able to calm your teen down, rather than further upsetting him. If your child is being angry or disrespectful to you, do not act in a similar manner back to your teenager. The situation can be truly frustrating, but nonetheless it is crucial for you to work calmly with your child to discover the reason for his issues. By staying away from having explosive conversations with your teenager, you will be more equipped to help him with his anger problems with a mature level head.
When dealing with an angry teenager, you can find help today. Make sure to use this help to prevent the relationship between you and your teen from always being a battle, instead of the nurturing, loving relationship that you want with your kids.
Some information came from The Pinnacle Schools www.thepinnacleschools.com. Pinnacle has an individualized therapeutic school with a flexible length of stay up to one year.
