Parents go through the most confusing time, when their kids are in their teens. Children that were once kind, happy and easy to get along with are all of sudden angry and sullen teens, and mom and dad are wondering what went wrong. It becomes frustrating quite quickly for the parents, because they try to have a friendly, loving relationship with their teen and can’t seem to find the right actions or words to convince the teenager of this fact. Then it takes the family so long to turn to counseling for help that the situation is out of control. Parents are confused and frustrated and the teenager feels like mom and dad are foes not friends. Both sides are scared and this many times leads to the parents stating they are going to throw the teenager out of the house, and/or the teenager is threatening to move out or run away.
While this situation is not the easiest to deal with, the parents have to comprehend that the intense emotions involved are a good sign. It shows that both parties care enough to fight for the relationship, and care about what the other party thinks. This means the positive communication and problem solving can still be accomplished with this situation. Of course, there are productive and counterproductive approaches to this situation. If you are going through this with your teen, you need to realize the negative emotions your teenager shows, has very little to do with you. This will help you mend the relationship with your kid. Check out the tips below on how to mend a difficult relationship with an angry teenager effectively.
Never Quit Trying – You should never quit trying to work things out, this is the worst thing any parent can do. The parents and kids that make it through this difficult time are the ones that do not quit on each other. As angry, confused and hurt as you could be, do not just throw up your hands and quit. Keep on showing your love, as well as your concern to your teen to help him find his way.
Don’t Be so Grim-Remember that having a sense of humor can often salvage an otherwise tense situation. Sure, sometimes your kids’ actions are serious, but if you can step back and see the larger picture, you’ll often realize how humorous – and normal – the whole thing really is.
Nothing Personal – Your teen’s anger and emotions during this time may be over the top compared to what is actually going on in his life. If you have done nothing but love, and provide for your child up until now, his sudden anger may feel like a personal assault. However, his anger most likely is not about you. If you know for sure that you have done something to anger him, apologize to him, but otherwise do not take his anger personally and be patient with him.
Be Understanding of the Teenager’s Fears – Growing up can be quite scary for teens and this fear many times shows up as outbursts of anger. If the parent can just acknowledge and understand the teenager’s vulnerability and fears, it will be easier to deal with the teen’s emotions during puberty. Instead of the parents acting like they know everything, they need to let the teen talk about what he is afraid of, so they can help him deal with his fears.
Watch for Signs of Depression – Parents need to realize the adolescent depression can happen in their teen, so his sullen behavior and outbursts of anger could be signs of a more serious situation. When parents have tried to work with their teenager to no avail and he is still angry, then they may need to seek out a professional diagnosis and counseling.
Visit About Huntsville City Schools (About HCS)for school reviews and information on teens, mental health, troubled teens. This blog is dedicated to helping parents find better information on helping their troubled teen.
