Tricia Powe, an Executive at Stepfamily Systems Co-parenting Center, talked with Lon Woodbury on L.A. Talk Radio about exactly why the numerous types of stepfamilies and blended families are not the Brady Bunch.
Background
Tricia Powe is a co-parenting mediator and stepfamily assimilation strategist. She is also a top researcher and nonprofit pathfinder. Her personal experience as a stepfamily member was first as kid, then as an adult when she wed a man with kids and became a stepmom. These experiences have actually provided her with an intimate understanding of stepfamily dynamics.
Stepfamily Systems is an organization that reaches out to men and women in all stages of parenting, from after separation or divorce to stepfamily formation. Conflict prevention and resolution programs support separated, divorced, or remarried mothers or fathers, stepparents and grandparents. The organization is an alternative to family law litigation or to mediation family counseling after an adversarial court process.
Why Genuine Stepfamilies Are Not the Brady Lot
Woodbury began the interview by lightheartedly commenting that the typical American has a rather distorted view of stepfamily characteristics due to the fact that they often believe in the misconceptions represented by the impractical sitcom of the 1970s Television show “The Brady Bunch.” Powe readily agreed to this observation and said that even efficiently blended families were not the Brady Bunch. She discussed how the television comedy mirrored simple solutions but did not probe into the conflicted internal states of the main characters.
The discussion then shifted to describing how combined families were formed in the first place. Powe recognized a few patterns–like a stepmother and a biological father, a stepfather and a biological mom, adopted children, and households that came together due to the death of a Mom or Dad.
The invited guest described eight popular misconceptions about stepfamilies that made it difficult for mixed family members to bond. These misconceptions triggered unrealistic expectations and increased problems in a recently formed household.
These 8 myths are erroneous beliefs that strongly affect the means by which people in stepfamilies respond to one another. These misconceptions can be stumbling blocks to developing an integrated household.
The following eight myths appear to be particularly damaging to creating realistic relationships in stepfamilies:
1. Love happens quickly between the kid and the stepparent.
2. Children of divorce and remarriage are permanently damaged.
3. Stepmothers are generally wicked.
4. Adjustment to stepfamily life occurs rather quickly.
5. Children adjust to divorce and remarriage even more easily if biological fathers or moms are out of sight.
6. Stepfamilies formed after a parent dies are easier.
7.Part-time stepfamilies are easier.
8. There is only a single type of family.
Powe laid out the fallacies behind these beliefs and provided sensible and realistic solutions to conflicts. Although real stepfamilies are not the Brady Bunch, understanding the misunderstandings and unrealistic expectations behind the eight misconceptions greatly helps in resolving disputes in blended families.
Lon Woodbury, the founder of Struggling Teens, has recorded the entire interview with Tricia Powe on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to at their convenience.
